My Birth Story : A Journey to Discover a Gentle, Comfortable and Pain-Free Birth

As a birth coach and HypnoBirthing® educator, I am honored to share my personal birth story with you.  My experience taught me that birth can be calm, natural, comfortable, and deeply transformational, with the right preparation and mindset. 

Facing My Fear of Pain

I have always been terrified of pain. The idea of childbirth frightened me deeply, and when I first became pregnant, my immediate instinct was to choose the most pain-free option. 

A Caesarean,  just to avoid suffering.

Then my BFF shared her experience with HypnoBirthing®, having gone through two positive births herself.  She encouraged, “you can give birth naturally, with minimal pain. And you’ll still look fabulous in your bikini, no scars!”

I remember being skeptical. Could this really be true? My fear of pain made it hard to believe her.

But my husband, who strongly believed in natural birth, encouraged me to take the  HypnoBirthing® Parents Class. His quiet, unwavering support gave me the courage to turn up, even though I was still unsure.

That small courage became the beginning of everything.

The Unexpected Arrival

On the day my baby decided to meet us, I was on a work trip in Kuala Lumpur.

Early one morning, suddenly, a strong gush of water. No warning. My heart raced. Was this really it? “I’m not ready… I want to return to Singapore to give birth,” I thought.

I took a breath, steadied myself, and called my husband in Singapore. He immediately began making his way back to support me.

I also reached out to my BBF in Kuala Lumpur. Without hesitation, she arranged an emergency appointment with her HypnoBirthing®-friendly obstetrician .

The doctor examined me calmly and reassured me, “Your baby is strong and safe. There are no signs of distress.” Relief washed over me.

I then shared my wish — to return to Singapore to give birth, where everything was already planned for our baby’s arrival.

After assessing me, the doctor gave me the “green light” to travel. My heart soared.

The Journey Home

After my appointment, my husband had already arrived from Singapore. After a quick discussion, we decided to head back to Singapore for the birth. We packed and began the journey.

My mother-in-law, who had been anxious at first, gradually calmed down. Perhaps because I stayed surprisingly calm throughout.

I informed my doctor in Singapore. Although he was surprised by my decision to return, he paused and then said, “Alright, I’ll see you at the hospital.”

I put on my HypnoBirthing® to practise, relax, and focus — one breath at a time.

By late afternoon, the surges grew stronger, but I stayed grounded and focused, riding through each one with my breathing and HypnoBirthing® audio support. I rested my hand on my belly and whispered, “We’re doing this together, my baby.”

My husband checked in constantly. I simply smiled and gave him an “I’m okay” sign.

At a heavily congested immigration checkpoint in the evening, panic briefly rose. I could feel I was getting closer.

My mother-in-law offered to speak to the officers, and to our surprise, they were kind and granted us VVIP clearance.

Arrival at the Hospital

We reached the hospital about an hour later after battling evening traffic. The surges were strong, and I could no longer walk. The nurses quickly wheeled me into the labour room.

My husband gently reminded them of our HypnoBirthing® birth plan :  dimmed lights, quiet voices, and a calm environment. To our relief, they respected every detail.

After the nurse examined me, she told me I was only 6 cm dilated. I felt rather disappointed as I thought I was already close to birth. I chose to calm myself, stay grounded, and refocus.

The Final Moments

Two hours later, everything had shifted. I was fully dilated, my body and baby were ready.

I already felt the unmistakable urge to breathe my baby down. I began the Birth Breathing technique I had learned. To my amazement, I did not feel pain, only a powerful, pressure-like sensation.

I stayed present, deeply connected and continued breathing rhythmically as I have learnt. In a short time, my baby gently slid through my birth path and was born.

With this gentle birthing, I felt energised and even managed precious skin-to-skin time with my baby.

My Take Away

“No gas, no epidural, no episiotomy, minimal tear — and a joyful, empowered mother and baby.”

This birth experience transformed me, not only as a mother, but also as a HypnoBirthing® educator. My own journey proved that birth can be fear-less and pain-less with the right preparation. It also transformed my partner, showing him that gentle birth is truly possible.

Since then, I have had the privilege of guiding over a hundred couples through their own birthing journeys. Time and again, they affirmed the same truth: with the right techniques, preparation, and support, birth can be gentle, empowering, joyful, and deeply connected.

This transformation happens when fear is replaced with calm and confidence. Something made possible through the HypnoBirthing®.

Each journey reminds me why I do this work. It is not just about the moment of birth. It is about giving couples a strong, positive start to parenthood.

That is the power of HypnoBirthing®: mindset, preparation, trust, and support.

• Birth is not something to fear. It is something to prepare for and embrace.

• With the right tools and techniques, birth can be natural, intervention-free, drug-free, and comfortable.

• A supportive birth companion is invaluable.

HypnoBirthing® is not just about relaxation and natural birth. It is about empowerment.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”— Dr. Wayne Dyer

Joey Lai

Fertility & Birth Coach, Counsellor, Educator and Master Hypnotherapist

Joey lives in Singapore with her husband, Chian, and their HypnoBirthing® teen daughter. As a family, they enjoy travelling, feasting on delicious food, and experiencing the magic of classical concerts together.